Heavy Metal and Jazz on today's Media Review Wednesday

Hey! It's a late media review Wednesday again, where we ask our resident critiques on what they think about the latest in entertainment.


First, you must understand the rating system of our resident expert reviewers.

0/5 - The crap that crap craps
1/5 - Crap
2/5 - Meh
3/5 - You can give this a look
4/5 -Awesome
5/5 - When awesome wins second place in a race, the first place is this thing

White Dragon: we still sing heavy! 

Remember them when they used to be popular. Of course you won't because they were never popular. Introducing the White Dragons, a band who claims to the title of world's first heavy metal band. It was founded in the 70s, and now the band members are in their 70s. Yet, they're still here to prove that they can still rock. Here they feature their wild, metallic riffs in the 70s, of which they are known for by tens of their fans. Only now, its presented in painstakingly slow tempo. If you listen carefully, they have become more playful with sound effects and electronica now, with the constant sound of beeping machines and synthesized coughing heard throughout the album. The White Dragons are sure to win and convince the hearts of many through the sound of their rock. Be sure to buy the White Dragon's album and part of the proceeds will go to the Golden Joy home for the elderly.
Reviewer's Rating: 4/5


 Saxy Times '11:

Saxy Times '11 was created in a basement in a suburbs by a high school sax player who would like to be called Jazzy T. The album has a complete 16 songs, recorded in 16 painstaking hours in a basement full of computers and unspeakable magazines He has 2 back up saxophones and he also provided the percussion. The album cover was gracefully designed in photoshop and the marketing is not really going so bad (210 fans on facebook, half of which is family and his dummy accounts).What could possibly go wrong, Well, the only thing that is wrong with otherwise a very great jazz album is that he sucks. He sucks so bad in playing sax that puns between the word "sax" and "sucks" should be an everyday exercise for people who would like to start making fun of his sax skills. In the album he has three versions of 'Careless Whisper" which could easily be mistaken as the (1) screeching of a cat owned by an evil non-hot, non-Harry Potter witch, (2) train that went of the rail  (3) theme from Rocky. If you love jazz so much, you would buy all of these albums, and destroy them all by fire.
Reviewer's Rating: 1/5, OK let's give the guy a break. 2/5